Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

Editorial Reviews Review Praise for Judy Blume and the Fudge books: “Each [Fudge book] is packed with wacky earthy disasters that are her trademark and that children love to read about

Judy Blume has a knack for knowing what children think about and an honest, highly amusing way of writing about it

” —The New York Times “It’s a pleasure to watch a talented author like Judy Blume consistently create books that reflect a remarkable ability for combining humor with perceptive insight into a child’s world

” —Publishers Weekly “Blume has her eye on the fine details of life, whether funny or frustrating

” —Booklist “For anyone who has ever been ‘burdened’ by a pesky younger brother, there’s fast and funny reading in this story

” —Children’s Digest on Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing “As usual, Blume’s humor and pitch-perfect ear for sibling rivalry and family dynamics will have readers giggling with recognition

Newcomers and Fudge fans alike will savor this installment in the well-loved series

”—Booklist on Double Fudge “Fudge-a-Mania infects kids with giggles

” —BookPage on Fudge-a-Mania From the Inside Flap Living with his little brother, Fudge, makes Peter Hatcher feel like a fourth grade nothing

Whether Fudge is throwing a temper tantrum in a shoe store, smearing smashed potatoes on walls at Hamburger Heaven, or scribbling all over Peter's homework, he's never far from trouble

He's a two-year-old terror who gets away with everything--and Peter's had enough

When Fudge walks off with Dribble, Peter's pet turtle, it's the last straw

Peter has put up with Fudge too long

How can he get his parents to pay attention to him for a change?

From the Back Cover Living with his little brother, Fudge, makes Peter Hatcher feel like a fourth grade nothing

Whether Fudge is throwing a temper tantrum in a shoe store, smearing smashed potatoes on walls at Hamburger Heaven, or scribbling all over Peter's homework, he's never far from trouble

He's a two-year-old terror who gets away with everything--and Peter's had enough

When Fudge walks off with Dribble, Peter's pet turtle, it's the last straw

Peter has put up with Fudge too long

How can he get his parents to pay attention to him for a change?

About the Author Judy Blume spent her childhood in Elizabeth, New Jersey, crafting stories in her mind

She continues this passion in her adult life, now putting her tales on paper

Both children and adults are familiar with Blume's works such as Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret; Blubber; Just as Long as We're Together; and the Fudge series

She has also authored novels for adults, such as In the Unlikely Event, Summer Sisters, Smart Women, and Wifey, all of them New York Times bestsellers

Her books have sold over 80 million copies and have been translated into thirty-one languages

Judy connects with readers of all ages, receiving thousands of letters each year to share emotions and thoughts

Judy holds a BS in education from New York University and has received numerous awards for her contributions to literature

Excerpt © Reprinted by permission

All rights reserved

The Big Winner I won Dribble at Jimmy Fargo's birthday party

All the other guys got to take home goldfish in little plastic bags

I won him because I guessed there were three hundred and forty-eight jelly beans in Mrs

Fargo's jar

Really, there were four hundred and twenty-three, she told us later

Still, my guess was closest

"Peter Warren Hatcher is the big winner!" Mrs

Fargo announced

At first I felt bad that I didn't get a goldfish too

Then Jimmy handed me a glass bowl

Inside there was some water and three rocks

A tiny green turtle was sleeping on the biggest rock

All the other guys looked at their goldfish

I knew what they were thinking

They wished they could have tiny green turtles too

I named my turtle Dribble while I was walking home from Jimmy's party

I live at 25 West 68th Street

It's an old apartment building

But it's got one of the best elevators in New York City

There are mirrors all around

You can see yourself from every angle

There's a soft, cushioned bench to sit on if you're too tired to stand

The elevator operator's name is Henry Bevelheimer

He lets us call him Henry because Bevelheimer's very hard to say

Our apartment is on the twelfth floor

But I don't have to tell Henry

He already knows

He knows everybody in the building

He's that smart! He even knows I'm nine and in fourth grade

I showed him Dribble right away

I won him at a birthday party," I said

Henry smiled

"Your mother's going to be surprised

Henry was right

My mother was really surprised

Her mouth opened when I said, "Just look at what I won at Jimmy Fargo's birthday party

" I held up my tiny green turtle

"I've already named him Dribble! Isn't that a great name for a turtle?"

My mother made a face

"I don't like the way he smells," she said

"What do you mean?" I asked

I put my nose right down close to him

I didn't smell anything but turtle

So Dribble smells like turtle, I thought

Well, he's supposed to

That's what he is!

"And I'm not going to take care of him either," my mother added

"Of course you're not," I told her

"He's my turtle

And I'm the one who's going to take care of him

"You're going to change his water and clean out his bowl and feed him and all of that?" she asked

"Yes," I said

"And even more

I'm going to see to it that he's happy!"

This time my mother made a funny noise

Like a groan

I went into my bedroom

I put Dribble on top of my dresser

I tried to pet him and tell him he would be happy living with me

But it isn't easy to pet a turtle

They aren't soft and furry and they don't lick you or anything

Still, I had my very own pet at last

Later, when I sat down at the dinner table, my mother said, "I smell turtle

Peter, go and scrub your hands!"

Some people might think that my mother is my biggest problem

She doesn't like turtles and she's always telling me to scrub my hands

That doesn't mean just run them under the water

Scrub means I'm supposed to use soap and rub my hands together

Then I've got to rinse and dry them

I ought to know by now

I've heard it enough!

But my mother isn't my biggest problem

Neither is my father

He spends a lot of time watching commercials on TV

That's because he's in the advertising business

These days his favorite commercial is the one about Juicy-O

He wrote it himself

And the president of the Juicy-O company liked it so much he sent my father a whole crate of Juicy-O for our family to drink

It tastes like a combination of oranges, pineapples, grapefruits, pears, and bananas

(And if you want to know the truth, I'm getting pretty sick of drinking it

) But Juicy-O isn't my biggest problem either

My biggest problem is my brother, Farley Drexel Hatcher

He's two-and-a-half years old

Everybody calls him Fudge

I feel sorry for him if he's going to grow up with a name like Fudge, but I don't say a word

It's none of my business

Fudge is always in my way

He messes up everything he sees

And when he gets mad he throws himself flat on the floor and he screams

And he kicks

And he bangs his fists

The only time I really like him is when he's sleeping

He sucks four fingers on his left hand and makes a slurping noise

When Fudge saw Dribble he said, "Ohhhhh see!"

And I said, "That's my turtle, get it? Mine! You don't touch him

"Fudge said, "No touch

" Then he laughed like crazy

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